The DTR

Before I started nursing school I had no idea an entire conversation could be had using abbreviations. I guess, with the advent of texting, teens (and people much hipper than me) have been conversing in the language of abbreviation for almost a decade now. Well, in the midst of learning the new language of abbreviated medical terminology, a fellow nursing student taught me a new dating abbreviation: the DTR. Commonly known as deep tendon reflexes in hospitals nationwide, the urban dictionary defines DTR as, "Define The Relationship. When two people discuss their mutual understanding of a romantic relationship (casual dating, serious boyfriend, etc)."

Girls talk about the DTR a lot when dating. She wonders when her new beau will bring it up, when he'll introduce her as his girlfriend to his friends or coworkers, and when she'll inevitably slip and call him her boyfriend in casual conversation. For some reason, though, in my spastic bouts of commitment phobia (especially since starting the blog) I haven't thought much about the DTR. Quite honestly, there hasn't been a date with which I wanted to start the journey that begins by means of the DTR (Okay, okay I did marry that one guy in my head, but that was just silly!)

So, I'm guessing you all know where this is going...that's right, SG#1 initiated the DTR.

It was Friday night (you know it's really getting serious when you make it onto his calendar on a Friday or a Saturday). I don't know why, but I had a serious fashion crisis and tried on almost every dress, pair of jeans and shirt I own (thank my lucky stars I have friends like Coqueta who shook me into submitting to outfit number 57 two minutes before SG#1 arrived). He picked me up and surprised me with dinner at Matt's in the Market, a restaurant I've wanted to try for years - at least 10 points for SG#1 right there! The restaurant, appropriately described as "casual fine dining," has imaginatively delicious food and a very serious Seattle following.

As our entree hit the table - we both ordered the halibut, I know, super cheesy, but it came highly recommended and it was FANTASTIC - SG#1 asked me to wait before eating. Mouth watering and heart pounding, I stared back, confused as to what would justify letting such a delightful dinner go cold.

"I have a question to ask you."

I could feel all the ears at the table next to us stand up like a German Shepard alerted to danger.

"You should quit the blog and date me exclusively."

"I can't quit the blog!"

I actually said that. SG#1 planned a beautiful evening, surprised me with a restaurant he didn't even know I've been dying to try and I blurted out my total dedication to a blog about dating that I'm pretty sure he loathes now that everyone from his 6th cousin twice removed to his boss's boss is reading every detail about his dating life (and he's out of the country with limited Internet access, so he won't know about the post for at least another 9 days, not that I'm counting).

"I mean, I don't need to quit the blog to date you exclusively. I'm going on 100 dates, not dating 100 guys!"

I back paddled into a seemingly more appropriate response to such a flattering and heart-felt gesture.

"So is that a yes?"

"Well, you didn't actually ask a question, it was more of a statement."

Insert uncomfortable silence.

"Yes! Yes of course!"

The foursome at the table next to us all leaned in as if I had just responded to THE question and without sight of something sparkly, nervous laughter trickled into a quiet lull. We started eating and the thought of being asked to be exclusive began to settle in. Truth be told, I don't recall ever having a DTR with someone I've dated. And, although I've been in long term relationships, no one has ever actually asked me to date them exclusively (apparently once you pass 25, you don't say "boyfriend," so I think that makes SG#1 either my "exclusive partner" or maybe my "special friend," in case exclusivity suddenly begs for a title).

Perhaps it was the pressure from his friends who were already teasingly calling me his girlfriend, the possibility of me dating 62 other people to fulfill my 100 date quota or the fact that he was leaving town (allowing me time to find said 62 dates) that prompted such a formal proposal for exclusivity. Whatever it was, I liked it. And, not to sound like a 7th grader with her first crush, but, I like him and I think this means he likes me too!

Prince Charming (aka Scrub Guy) Part II

As would be assumed, we decided to meet up. We chose ¡Cactus!, a yummy Mexican restaurant in my neighborhood.

This "Prince Charming" was, indeed, attractive, motivated, humorous, kind, well-traveled....he had all the right attributes! We were so engaged in conversation that the waitress had to come to our table four or five times before we even got around to looking at the menu.

The conversation, however, was the problem. I felt like I was in a theatrical production, reciting the script that I had repeated so many times before! Each time Scrub Guy opened his mouth, I knew exactly what he was going to ask:

"How many brothers and sisters do you have?...Are you the oldest or the youngest?"

"Where are you from?...And what brought you to Seattle?"

"What do you like to do for fun around here?"

These were all great questions for a first date...which it was! But, as it was approximately my 25th "first date," I was ready to pull my hair out by the end of the night! (I didn't show it, of course, because he deserved my full, undivided attention)

He is truly a great guy. We agreed to be in touch. As promised, he sent me a post-date email, saying he'd like to meet up again, and that it might be fun to do something outdoors. I responded, agreeing and telling him to stay in touch about future plans. I haven't heard back from him since. And I haven't written to him either.

Maybe I will...one day.... I think I need to stop going on first dates!

Prince Charming (aka Scrub Guy) Part I

Once upon a time, in a very busy nursing program, a beautiful nurse-to-be ("looking for a spark") set off to find the perfect set of navy blue scrubs. She had to search high and low, but found a store that carried some that fit just right. While at the store, she noticed a potential prince charming. Hard at work, he made sure to check on his lovely clients with regularity. The beautiful nurse-to-be was enamored! She paid her bill, and left blushing. But that was the end. Or so she thought...

(Fast forward one month)

Another amazing nurse-in-training was looking for scrubs and came across the same scrub store! Although married, she thought very highly of this prince charming. After a conversation proving his intelligence, amicability, humor (and, of course, good looks), she decided to go a step further. She mentioned that she had some cute, single nursing student friends with whom she would like to set him up. Would he be willing to provide his contact information? His answer.........? Sure!

So, the following day in class, she approached me, to share the treasure she had obtained. After hearing how she got it, I immediately told "Looking for a Spark." It was just too coincidental! "Meant to be," I thought.

"Looking for a Spark" took one glance at the email address and decided that it could not be! He was too young for her! As he is my age, however, she decided that I should be the one to contact him. And so, I thought about it. And thought about it.... And tucked the slip of paper away.

(Fast forward six months)

I moved into a castle, closer to school. As anyone knows, moving causes you to rustle up a lot of old stuff. And so, I came across a receipt with an email address scribbled on the back. Still single, I decided, "Why not?!" And so, with much trepidation, I composed an email: "I know a lot of time has lapsed, and much may have changed in your life...."

Surprisingly, he wrote back! And was still interested in meeting up! What happened next? Well, you'll have to keep reading the blog to find out....

3 Oldies + 1 Newbie = An Interesting Night!

Last weekend, we decided to have a girl's night out. In typical girl style, we met beforehand to get ready and have a few drinks. I might be biased, but we were lookin' pretty good! Amber was the destination of the evening (I had only been once prior, around the time our dating project commenced).

We drove downtown, spent too much time searching for parking, and finally started the long trek to the bar. On they way, "Looking for a Spark" nudged me and signaled at something up ahead. Uh oh--it was a guy ("Waldo") with whom I had gone on three dates! He didn't notice us--Phew!

As we settled into the bar scene with our first round of drinks, I turned around and saw a familiar face. It was someone I had met on my birthday. We had gone rock climbing once afterwards, but, despite his attempts, never met up again. Oops! We talked at the bar--might reconnect in the future.

Another hour passed. Suddenly, a very attractive guy caught my eye. He stopped in front of me. And started talking:

"What....you already forgot who I am?!"

It took a minute to realize it was the guy from the Vagina Dialogues. I didn't remember how hot he was! I wonder why we lost touch!? Anyway, he bought me a drink, we re-exchanged numbers, and he had to leave the bar for an early morning flight. Hope that spark reignites!

As last call neared, I met someone new. He was Costa Rican, so we flirted in Spanish for the rest of the night. And we planned a date for the next day. Fun!

Apparently, after 70 dates, I have to expect to see familiar faces wherever I go! I feel like I've dated most of the eligible bachelors in Seattle!

Gift on a first date...appropriate or not?

Within the initial minute of meeting Aquarium boy for our first date, he announced:

"I brought you a present but I left it in the car. After the date, maybe you can walk with me to go get it."

I was surprised, somewhat uncomfortable, and slightly curious as to what he had brought. We proceeded on our date and, as promised, after spending quality time with the fishies, we walked to his car to pick up "the gift." He opened the door and pulled out a dozen roses and a book of romantic poetry by Hafiz.

Granted, it was the day after Valentine's Day and he probably got a good deal (at least on the flowers)...but in my opinion, it was a little overwhelming for a first date. Don't get me wrong--I totally appreciated the gesture! But I decided that maybe first date gifts were a bad idea.

Fast forward a couple months to my date with the British guy this past Friday night. He showed up with a single rose, artistically yet simplistically wrapped in paper and twine (the picture doesn't really do it justice--sorry). It was lovely!

Point of the story: a simple gift is a charming gesture. Anything more, however, (especially for a first date) is a bit intense!

Nothing says classy first date like bike-riding naked people and warm beer dripping down your leg

I met Mic* at Amber in Belltown, a bar that boasts “first class service and culinary delights…dedicated to providing exceptional service that contributes to a truly memorable experience.” Well, a memorable experience is definitely an understatement. Just to get this straight, I don’t recommend meeting dates in bars, but something told me this one was extra special.

He’s just in Seattle for a short trip to visit friends so after meeting on Friday, he decided we just simply had to spend all day together on Saturday. He took me to the Fremont Fair to rub elbows with drunken naked people dripping in rained-on body paint (the first clue the day would be nothing less than total classiness and chivalry). Honestly, he was quite the gentleman: he carried my purse, offered his arm when walking through the crowds and even ruffled through gum wrappers and tampons to find my ID and show it to the doorman at the beer garden (and then announced the full contents of my purse to all within earshot – jerk face!)

After a few beers down the hatch and down my leg (good thing I was wearing galoshes) we met some friends at Brouwers where I tried the girliest beer ever brewed: Lindemans’s Framboise. I recommend it for those of you who don’t like beer much, but it was a tad sweet even for me (one of the girliest girls I know). We then ventured through think crowds of Seattle’s finest hippies to Gasworks Park to try to catch The Jesus Rehab, a self proclaimed “laid back, fun, and rockin’” band. On the way to the park we passed three Ride the Duck trucks and Mic took full advantage of the enthusiastic and captive audience and flashed each truck of quacking tourists as it drove by – I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard all day as I did with Mic, but I will say just one more time, classiness just might not be his thang. We arrived at the park just in time to see the band packing up their equipment, but we did get to meet the band members and get a few autographs (I’m a pretty big fan).

I do have to give Mic props for choosing such a diverse schedule of activities for a first date. SG#1 might have some serious competition moving forward – the day ended with a pretty steamy make-out session…JUST KIDDING!!!

Okay, Okay, I know all you SG#1 fans are having a conniption fit right now (and maybe SG#1 a little bit too, good thing he has a good sense of humor). I didn’t go on a date with Mic. He’s one of SG#1’s friends from out of town and I had the pleasure of hanging out with him and some of SG#1’s other friends at the Fremont Fair. The day did feel at times like some kind of it’s-the-new-girl-initiation-ceremony, but the jokes were all in good fun and each friend had something very nice to say about SG#1 (I definitely got a little bit of the inside scoop!). The rest of the post is true, minus the steamy make-out session, with Mic anyway ;), and Mic is a super fun and I’m sure very classy guy in most situations (he is a very accomplished Naval Officer after all). I wish Mic the best of luck finding a main squeeze, I know she’ll always be laughing, she’ll never have to carry her purse, and she’ll have to dish out the fun just as much as Mic to keep up with his never-ending quest for amusement.

*As always, his name has been changed for blogging purposes

Prom 2010: paparazzi

Did you really think I would reveal our identities?!

"5000 miles from being a Seattle guy"

I hadn't been on plenty of fish for a while because I was (am) getting a bit bored of Seattle guys (no offense). When I did finally log in next, I changed my profile to make this known. The 1st message I received after the change was titled "5000 miles from being a Seattle guy." Hmm, interesting...

I opened the email and found a message from an English guy who is working in Seattle. After writing back and forth a few times, we decided to meet for dinner. He volunteered to choose our restaurant, but not being from Seattle, he couldn't actually find the one he had picked. Oops! So, we met at the Pike's Place Market and walked around, finally deciding on Il Bistro.

As he promised, he was 5000 miles from being a Seattle guy, and this proved to be refreshing in many ways!

1. He has an adorable accent (what is it about accents that are so sexy?!)
2. He uses different vocabulary (lovely, brilliant, rubbish, etc)
3. He has seen the world (well, I guess I usually have that in common with everyone I date)
4. We were more spontaneous in choosing what to do (since he didn't really know what was around)
5. Most importantly, we were able to avoid the dreaded 1st date small talk (perhaps first date conversations are different in the UK)! I have no idea where he went to school or how many brothers and sisters he has...and I'm thrilled about it! At almost every first date, I am able to predict the next words that will come out of my date's mouth...and it is a bit dull. But that wasn't the case on this date!

We continued the date with post-dinner drinks at Del Ray. At the end of the 5-hour date, I decided that I had a really good time! Afterwards, he sent me a cute post-date text....we'll go out again, for sure!

Prom 2010

Many of you know by now that I went to all-girls Catholic school most of my life. This either means prom consisted of a group of girls getting dressed up to dance with each other OR taking your friend's, dad's, co-worker's son as your date (which is what I did for senior prom, my friend and I took a set of brothers...awkward!). So last Thursday night was an unanticipated prom night done right, for adults.

SG#1 picked me up in cab for a fancy schmancy dinner at Wild Ginger and when I opened the door I couldn't believe my eyes! I was in a little black dress with red pashmina and he was wearing a black suit with red button-up - the only thing we were missing was a matching coursage/boutineer duo! (And, no, we did NOT plan our outfits!)

After a few laughs about our fabulous taste in attire, we headed to the restaurant. We were promptly seated right in the middle of the room in the largest dining room chairs I have ever sat in (not good for a short dress!), but we laughed it off and decided they must have wanted to show off their best dressed guests. The food was amazing, you must order the sea bass and don't let the waitress con you into ordering vegetables, they are delicious, but there are so many things to choose from on the menu there's no need to waste the stomach space (which is most likely limited due to said little black dress). I also recommend the Cracked Coconut Martini, which SG#1 claims isn't a martini at all since it lacks Vodka, but is delicious nevertheless. Anyway, after too many hours of conversation, according to Erin & the Fiance, we walked over to the DList Magazine Party (AKA Prom for adults).

You must remember, this is really the first date SG#1 and I have had to sit and chat. It was much needed and appreciated, so nice work SG#1 for taking the initiative to schedule dinner before our double date with Erin & the Fiance (They are the matchmakers, you can find their comments after previous posts about SG#1).

On our way over to the party, we were stopped by a fellow party goer:

Fellow Party Goer: "Hey, are you guys on your way to the DList Party?"

SG#1: "Yeah, you too?"

Fellow Party Goer: "Da-ang, you guys are lookin' goood!"

So, yes, we were lookin' dang good and the DList party was what every prom was and is: a place to be seen looking dang good. There were photographers circling the room like ninja's just waiting to get a shot of you spilling on your dress, doing last year's dance move or getting in a cat fight with Seattle's top socialite (do we have one?!). I imagine this might be what real prom is like minus the bar and maybe with more dancing. Erin & the Fiance skipped out early, so we called it a night shortly thereafter, but it was most definitely a night to remember.

So far I've learned there's never a dull moment with SG#1. He's here to live life to the fullest and, really, there isn't a better trait in my book. Keep your eyes peeled for our dang good prom picture!

A day of savings...with an expensive finale!

Being raised by a Jewish mother and having lived in Africa for 2 1/2 years, my frugality should come as no surprise! I get excited about sales at the grocery store and I have signed up as a member of both Groupon and Living Social (you should look into them, if you're not already signed up!).

When we checked in at the aforementioned helicopter ride, I noticed that my date handed over a folded sheet of paper. I sneakily peeked over his shoulder and realized that it was a groupon coupon. Nice! After the helicopter ride, he wanted to grab lunch--and had coupon for Red Robin. So, we went to the location on the water to grab some burgers. Ching-ching! A little more money saved!

Later that evening, I had agreed to meet up with a guy friend (though he called it a date...). Turns out, he had been given a $100 gift certificate to Boat Street Cafe, a yummy French restaurant! We ordered dinner and drinks--but the drinks never came. When we casually mentioned it, the server was so apologetic! She brought them immediately and assured us that they'd be taken off our bill. To try to spend more money, we ordered a second dessert--but the server took this as a sign that we didn't like the first, and took that off the bill too! No matter how we tried, we could not reach the $100 mark, and ended up leaving with credit for another time. Not so bad!

And then, driving home, all the money I had "saved" throughout the day was reversed. We were going through a funky intersection and another car plowed into my driver's side. And then left the scene. And they had a Prius! Who does that?! Needless to say, it was a pricey and distressing ending to a great day!

Soaring through the clouds

Keeping with the "touching the sky" theme...

I received the following message one day:

"I got us a helicopter and pilot--Where do you want to go?"

I had gone out with this guy a couple times, but from the text, I couldn't tell if he was serious or not. I immediately responded by saying I wanted to go to Hawaii. (If someone asks where I want to go, I might as well think big, right?!)

"Nope, gas is expensive right now. I was thinking somewhere closer."

I thought some more--the San Juan Islands?

"Nah, how about around Seattle?"

I'm never one to turn down an opportunity! And, I had never been in a helicopter before. So, we met early in the day to depart on our adventure with Classic Helicopter Corp. As we flew over the Space Needle, Green Lake, the Ballard Locks, and other Seattle attractions, I noticed:

(1) what a beautiful, clear day it was

(2) what a romantic date I was on and

(3) what a lack of feelings I had for the person sharing the helicopter experience with me

This was, by far, the most unique date I had been on! With each building we passed over, however, I began to question how I felt about this guy. A couple weeks prior, I let him know that I was feeling a little smothered--and things had improved a bit. But, sitting in the helicopter, he kept awkwardly reaching through the tangle of headsets to hold my hand and snuggle. I realized it wasn't what he was doing, it was what I was feeling.

And, so, on this amazing and extravagant date, soaring through the clouds, all I could think about was that I didn't "click" with this wonderful guy.

Death defying circus tricks and dating faux pas

Planning a date is not for the faint of heart. It is by far one of the most nerve-wracking activities of life - especially when the date involves death defying circus tricks.

I picked up SG#1 on Friday (only five minutes late!) dressed in work-out wear, heart pounding in anticipation of what we were about to do and hoping he would enjoy the date. We headed to SODO and SG#1 quickly spotted the bright yellow, "Emerald City Trapeze Arts" sign glowing under the black rain clouds. That's right, I took SG#1 on our second date to a flying trapeze class!

We learned how to jump off a teeny tiny platform and fly through the air on the trapeze. SG#1 totally rocked the backflip dismount and I got to swing into the arms of a tall, bald, circus-man wearing extremely tight black leggings (Yikes!). Although possibly a slightly inappropriate 2nd date activity, it was nice to see how adventurous SG#1 is, especially when he didn't even know what we were doing AND he was chosen to be the first person to climb the wobbling ladder to the teeny tiny platform and risk his life on the flying trapeze.

So, since this was the date I planned I must admit I committed a serious date faux pas: I forgot my wallet! So embarrassing!! The trapeze class was prepaid, so it wasn't really that big of a deal, but lesson learned for future date planning. We had to stop at my house before the much needed post-trapeze margarita.

All in all, I think the date went pretty well and SG#1 said he would be calling for a future date - yep, he said calling, not texting! We'll all be eagerly anticipating his official date report.

One more thing: a shout out to my friend TS for sponsoring the fantastic birthday Groupon Coupon for Emerald City Trapeze that made this date possible.