Only missing one thing!

Although many people consider me a dating expert at this point, I admittedly have a lot to learn! When a friend suggested that I make a formal list of the characteristics I desire in a potential mate, I quickly obliged. This activity requires a lot of self-reflection and concentration, but by afternoon, I felt like I had a pretty solid compilation of "must have" and "would be nice" characteristics.

And so, I set that grueling task aside to attend happy hour at The Atlantic Crossing with a group of world travelers. I was one of the first there, and started chatting with a friend. A half hour later, someone walked in and caught my eye. Wow--I'd never seen him before!

We struck up a conversation and it turned out that he had visited and was in love with the country I had lived for 2 1/2 years prior to graduate school. We even knew people in common over there. Small world! As more people filed in, however, we socialized with other acquaintances and I thought that he may not be interested after all. When I announced that I was leaving however, he was adamant that I stay. I declined. So he insisted on exchanging numbers. Sweet!

A few hours later, while hosting a small painting/dinner party with my girlfriends, I got a call:

"Hey, it's me. I know it's a little late, but we're just now leaving and I was wondering if you'd be down for grabbing a drink."

As luck would have it, my morning class was cancelled for the following day. Sure, why not?! And so, we met at Luc from some lovely drinks and fantastic conversation! Eventually, the waitress came over:

"Excuse me, we wanted to let you guys keep chatting, but we closed at midnight."

We figured it was just after, but upon looking at the time, realized it was 1am! Oops! Very gentlemanly, he walked me home but, halfway there, he spun me around and planted a luscious kiss on me. I liked the directness of it! We got to my house and continued talking (and kissing) into the early morning (nothing scandalous happened, get your minds out of the gutter)! And as the sky began changing colors, we bid farewell.

Later, when I reexamined the list I had made for my ideal mate, he seemed to fit every characteristic, including those from the "would be nice" category! He was confident, optimistic, goal-oriented, had traveled extensively, was well-educated, didn't smoke, had a sense of humor, was a good kisser, is excited about learning, easy-going, tall, bilingual, and of course, attractive (amongst many other fantastic qualities)! Perfect kind of guy for me!

Well, except that he starts school in California in September, and is planning on being there for the next four years. I've unsuccessfully done the long distance thing before, and I hardly even know him. We've agreed to keep in touch, but I'm a realist so my heart isn't set on this guy.

I've since updated my list, however, to include geographic proximity! Hopefully the universe listens, once again!

Crossing into uncharted territories

WARNING: if you are not in the medical field and/or get easily grossed out, this may be a post you want to skip!

When you start working in healthcare, it becomes quickly apparent that not everyone wants to hear about the intricate details of your day. From the latest gaping wound you debrided with maggot therapy to the technicalities of ensuring a good latch during breastfeeding, some things are better left unsaid in public. But, alas, I met a guy who was also in the medical field!

There was comfort in meeting up after having finished a long day in clinicals and, when asked how my day went, really being able to divulge things that I found interesting (NEVER detailed or identifying info, as that would be a HIPAA violation).

So, one day, after having dated for a couple weeks, he asked me what I had done in school that morning.

"Today, we had some really creepy, plastic rectal models to practice prostate exams on."

He was shocked!

"They don't have you doing rectal exams on real people?!"

No, that comes later, I explained. He followed with a "generous" offer:

"Listen, give me a couple days to clean out my bowels and I'll let you practice on me."

Hmm...for some reason that just seemed to extinguish the romance. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for edification...but we had only known each other for a few weeks! Needless to say, the relationship did not progress much further.

Prince Charming (aka Scrub Guy) Part II

As would be assumed, we decided to meet up. We chose ¡Cactus!, a yummy Mexican restaurant in my neighborhood.

This "Prince Charming" was, indeed, attractive, motivated, humorous, kind, well-traveled....he had all the right attributes! We were so engaged in conversation that the waitress had to come to our table four or five times before we even got around to looking at the menu.

The conversation, however, was the problem. I felt like I was in a theatrical production, reciting the script that I had repeated so many times before! Each time Scrub Guy opened his mouth, I knew exactly what he was going to ask:

"How many brothers and sisters do you have?...Are you the oldest or the youngest?"

"Where are you from?...And what brought you to Seattle?"

"What do you like to do for fun around here?"

These were all great questions for a first date...which it was! But, as it was approximately my 25th "first date," I was ready to pull my hair out by the end of the night! (I didn't show it, of course, because he deserved my full, undivided attention)

He is truly a great guy. We agreed to be in touch. As promised, he sent me a post-date email, saying he'd like to meet up again, and that it might be fun to do something outdoors. I responded, agreeing and telling him to stay in touch about future plans. I haven't heard back from him since. And I haven't written to him either.

Maybe I will...one day.... I think I need to stop going on first dates!

We met over liver, no onions

It was a super slow day at work and I sat at the touch booth reading Eight Weeks to Optimum Health (I highly recommend it). A few people filtered through to pick up a kidney or poke at the liver while I described its functions and answered the usual questions about gallstones and the falciform ligament...and then he appeared.

At first he was just another guy in a hoody. He had just picked up his jacket out of coat check and stuck the ear buds to his iPod back in his ears when he approached the booth. I asked if he was interested in touching a specimen, (there really is no way to say that without sounding kinky) and the conversation took off from there. It was a little strange that the ear buds never left his ears, but it was intriguing conversation anyway. We talked about the chiropractic program he had just graduated from, his recently celebrated birthday and of course the liver, while other guests filtered through to touch an organ and ask about their various health concerns as if I was actually a nurse in a walk-in clinic. Twenty minutes later he was writing his name and number on a organ donation card and handing it to me.

Yes, that's right! I successfully landed a date while at work, in a lab coat, while fondling preserved organs!

We settled on lunch the next day, but there was one catch. He was leaving to go back to his hometown and then taking an amazing job in a faraway land. The truth is I don't think I would have agreed to a date like this had I not been writing a blog. It was fun to go to lunch with him, but I don't think I was feeling the connection he felt with me. During lunch he talked about how lucky he was to have met me and how he wished we had met at the beginning of his stay. Although I enjoyed his company and we had good conversation, I just wasn't blown over by the whole thing like he was - he was so nervous he couldn't even eat! How is that even possible?!

As the date came to a close we exchanged e-mails and said our goodbyes. There have been some text exchanges since, and it makes me wonder what exactly he's thinking is going to come of this. When is a date just a fun outing between two people that enjoy each other's company and when does it become something more...especially when those two people happen to live really really far away from each other?!

Dates 7, 8, and 9: The good...the bad...and the uneventful

Somehow, on Thursday, I managed to get asked out on 3 dates for the weekend (plus one on Monday)! So, it provided the perfect opportunity for comparisons—and there were plenty to be made! I’ll work backwards, to end on a “good” note.

The Uneventful:
He chose the Seattle Art Museum, a unique date spot, which is always more intriguing (even though I had been there before). We had an engaging conversation, though I guess that’s to be expected on any 2nd date. Stories about past adventures were exchanged. It was fine…something to do in good company. Unfortunately, there isn’t much more to say. On one hand, there were no sparks (at least none felt by me); on the other, it was an enjoyable afternoon. And that was that.

The Bad:
We met for dinner (traditional) at Tango. I was starving and a bit sleepy, after a long day of work and volunteering. He began chatting about how he came to live in Seattle (while I was eyeing the menu, hoping to get some food in my belly as quickly as possible). We finally ordered and he was talking about his high school years...then his family...his ex-girlfriends...then the apartments he lived in...his neighbors...his past jobs...recent interviews...step siblings...his car...more about his ex-girlfriend...and his family...a little about his friends...and his current job...some more about other places he lived…other jobs he was applying to...his college years...sports he played...I think you get the idea! A lot of talking…about HIM! I felt that I could write a book about him by the end of the night…though I don’t know that it would be a bestseller. All I wanted to do was crawl into bed with ear plugs (my bed, alone). Finally we parted ways. On the positive side, he was a gentleman and attactive. But there were several more negative aspects: egocentrism (though perhaps it was a side effect of nervousness), age (he's a few years older than me), he's not a food sharer (a big deal for me), and he sent me a somewhat creepy text* that night. I don't foresee a second date.

The Good:
This date proved to be fun...really enjoyable, actually! It was the first time (during this project...and in a while, come to think of it) that I’ve gone out with someone and felt that there was a connection from both sides. At least, I hope it was felt by all parties involved (I usually have good perception about that kind of thing)!

We met somewhere completely new to me (Majles--a hookah/tea bar), which was an interesting change from the dinner routine (not that I’m complaining!). Then we continued the night in various other spots around the city: Bathtub Gin & Co. (a modern speakeasy-like bar), Shortys (an arcade/bar where we played pinball and skeeball), and finally had a post-midnight snack at IHOP. We laughed together, chatted about diverse topics, and flirted...all fun! We linked arms when we walked around…a nice way to stay warm (and get a little closer).

Then came the hour of departure...and the awkward moment of saying goodbye. I’m not one to kiss on the first date...but I really wanted to! And I felt that he did too! I managed to restrain myself, however. I now find myself hoping that he’ll contact me soon...a pretty exciting change! We’ll see what happens :)


**Bad date text message transcript:
Him: “Im not good at dating...im a better lover...once you get comfortable with me I’m pretty awesome :)”
Me: “Uh...I’m not really looking for a lover. Sorry”
Him: “That didn’t come out right...”