Sunday, December 27, 2009

It wasn't in the stars

Date number two with the nervous guy (the one that almost tripped down the stairs from "Date 5: One spark lights a fire") didn't go so well. It started out swimmingly! I arrived almost five minutes early (hard for me to do), I was wearing my new favorite knee high boots - knock offs of my favorite Frye pair - and I was excited for his restaurant choice (Daniel's Broiler). That's about where everything started swimming down a sink hole.

I pulled into the perfect parking spot and was about to get out of the car when, WHAM, the person next to me hit my car door. As I approached the front door of Daniel's, the smell of perfectly cooked steaks and delicious martinis in the air, I could see that the other guests seriously upstaged my jeans and boots with fancy formal wear. As I sat in the foyer silently giving myself a jeans-and-boots-are-OK -at-Daniel's-ego-boost I glanced at my date's text confirming the date and realized I was at the wrong restaurant! His reservations were at the much older and much less popular Daniel's Broiler in Leschi (not the beautiful one on the Union Bay waterfront, but maybe he was going for quiet and romantic?!). I called to let him know the situation and that I would be a little late and he was very apologetic and still seemingly excited to see me.

Thirty minutes later I arrived at the Leschi Daniel's to be greeted by a slouched- over date already finishing his second beer. I felt bad for being late and his absent greeting made my arrival a little awkward - but maybe the two beer start would calm his nerves? The date had started on the wrong foot, but I was willing to push it aside to have a good time.

However, the conversation was lacking. It felt like I was trying too hard to keep it going and I could hear my fake-laugh more often than my real laugh - not a good sign. I thought I was being convincingly, genuinely interested until the waiters started giving me looks and standing behind my date pointing to martinis and mouthing "you need one of these!" Yikes! Apparently the date didn't catch on because he asked me out again. I declined.

The sad part is there is nothing horrible about this guy. He is smart, attractive, probably has a fun side somewhere, loves his family, enjoys his career and the list goes on and on. This seems to be a common theme with all of the guys I've recently dated. And some of them I can imagine being good friends with and possibly dating a friend. But is it socially acceptable to recommend your date to a friend? If so, let me know if you're interested, I'll send you his number!!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

A Thrilling Chase...

Guy #1: Walks me to my car and says goodnight. Before I've even gotten a block away, my phone alerts me to a new message: "You're really beautiful!" Really? Really?! I can still see you! What's the rush?!

Guy #2: We go out, have a great time, and I don't hear from him for a couple days. I begin to wonder: "Did I perceive the date differently? Did he not enjoy my company as much? Am I ever going to see him again? How soon is too soon to contact him again?"
Guy #1: Multiple texts a day: "So, when do I get to see you again?" "There's a great movie coming out that we should really see!" "Do you like cats?" (Still haven't figured out the purpose of that one...)

Guy #2: We finally catch each other on facebook and flirt a bit. "Good," I think, "I was right about my gut feeling--we got along well!" We casually talk about when we're going to meet up again. Finally set up a nebulous "date event" for the future, but no specific day or time.
Guy #1 is attractive and sweet...but the persistence turns me off.
Guy #2 is also attractive...but more distant and noncommittal. And this keeps me interested!

Why is it that we always want what's harder to get?! The chase, the games....all fun! But is this a good start to a potential long term relationship? Or are we supposed to grow up and stop playing the games? Does the chase ever lead to a stable relationship? Does my intrigue by this behavior indicate that I'm not looking for anything serious?

Saturday, December 12, 2009

We met over liver, no onions

It was a super slow day at work and I sat at the touch booth reading Eight Weeks to Optimum Health (I highly recommend it). A few people filtered through to pick up a kidney or poke at the liver while I described its functions and answered the usual questions about gallstones and the falciform ligament...and then he appeared.

At first he was just another guy in a hoody. He had just picked up his jacket out of coat check and stuck the ear buds to his iPod back in his ears when he approached the booth. I asked if he was interested in touching a specimen, (there really is no way to say that without sounding kinky) and the conversation took off from there. It was a little strange that the ear buds never left his ears, but it was intriguing conversation anyway. We talked about the chiropractic program he had just graduated from, his recently celebrated birthday and of course the liver, while other guests filtered through to touch an organ and ask about their various health concerns as if I was actually a nurse in a walk-in clinic. Twenty minutes later he was writing his name and number on a organ donation card and handing it to me.

Yes, that's right! I successfully landed a date while at work, in a lab coat, while fondling preserved organs!

We settled on lunch the next day, but there was one catch. He was leaving to go back to his hometown and then taking an amazing job in a faraway land. The truth is I don't think I would have agreed to a date like this had I not been writing a blog. It was fun to go to lunch with him, but I don't think I was feeling the connection he felt with me. During lunch he talked about how lucky he was to have met me and how he wished we had met at the beginning of his stay. Although I enjoyed his company and we had good conversation, I just wasn't blown over by the whole thing like he was - he was so nervous he couldn't even eat! How is that even possible?!

As the date came to a close we exchanged e-mails and said our goodbyes. There have been some text exchanges since, and it makes me wonder what exactly he's thinking is going to come of this. When is a date just a fun outing between two people that enjoy each other's company and when does it become something more...especially when those two people happen to live really really far away from each other?!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

The power of the ex

As I sat in class, I kept an eye on the slowly ticking clock. I had a date to get to! Even though I wasn’t necessarily impressed after the first date with the guy, I figured a second chance might change my perspective. While class dragged on, I decided to navigate the internet...facebook, more specifically*. When I opened the page, I saw the usual, unimportant details on the newsfeed. Then, scrolling down, some pictures caught my eye. Upon further stalking, I found out that they were of my ex-boyfriend, on a hiking/camping trip with an unidentified, cute girl. Hmmm.

{Let me interject and give a little background on my past relationship. We dated in high school, and reunited early this year. But, he lived on the east coast...and I’m on the west coast. I quickly realized that I couldn’t do the long distance thing, especially when we had spent so little face time together over the previous 8 years! I was in a relationship with this amazing, attractive, sweet, funny guy...and I couldn’t do it! He was ready to make a big commitment, but it just didn’t feel right to me. And so, I broke it off.}

Back to the story... there I was, pre-date, looking at adorable pictures of him and, presumably, a new girlfriend. And my heart started to pound, my breathing sped up. Why did it affect me so much! A few deep breaths, I figured...that’d take care of the problem.

But, at the restaurant (Pasta Bella), I couldn’t concentrate on my date. Words were pouring out of his mouth, and I’d nod from time to time. But, really, I was thinking about my ex: Who was that cute girl? How long have they been together? Are they good together? What does the future hold for them? My poor date—fortunately he’s not a mind-reader! He didn’t even seem to notice my absentmindedness.

So, what’s wrong with me? I broke up with my ex! I wish him well, and I’m totally happy for him! But I can’t help but wonder, “what if we really were meant to be?”

*Note: I’m not really a slacker…but some of the classes this quarter have been less than exciting!