Friday, November 27, 2009

As long as you can make a carry on...

Q: When is it appropriate to talk about your ex?


I have now been on three first-dates where the guy has mentioned his ex-girlfriend. I do take partial credit for one since I asked with whom he traveled through Europe (duh! what guy goes to Italy with his buddies?!)...but seriously, make something up!

And of course, each date who mentioned an ex quickly followed it with an awkward, and incredibly unsuccessful back-paddle in conversation, sprinkled with lots of "um, but, I mean's," that just made the whole situation even worse. You would think I would get better at responding to the ex mention with so many under my belt, but what's a girl to say? The first time a date mentioned his ex my response entailed a look of utter horror, mouth agape and complete silence. And after the third mention I literally burst out laughing - which definitely did not help ease an already nervous date!

The truth is we all have an ex or three (and we all already know this about each other). And, unfortunately, we probably all carry a little baggage from one relationship to the next. However, just like you wouldn't tell someone on the first date that you are a lice-ridden social phobe with no aspirations, you also shouldn't say a single word about your ex and/or your previous relationship. And, as a U.S. refugee recently taught me: "we all have baggage, but as long as you can make a carry-on, we'll all be okay." So, a short message to all of my future dates: please pack your carry-ons carefully and don't forget to zip it up all the way!


  1. hahaha 'lice ridden social phobe'?!?!

  2. i am re-reading the blog trying to figure out where i stopped, and again, am struck by the 'lice ridden social phobe' phrase.