Date 1: Breakfast

I woke up wondering how many dates I'd been on in Seattle. Too many. I got dressed but hardly cared what I was wearing. I waited until the last possible moment to leave, turned the ignition, my car started...and then it stopped. Great. I texted Mr. 99% about the situation. He was already waiting at the restaurant. Fantastic. I thought about cancelling altogether...but at the last moment, my engine revved up and I figured, "what's one more."

I got to Beth's Cafe in Greenlake a good half hour late...oops! But, there he was, still waiting. We started chatting....and there wasn't any of that 1st date awkwardness! He didn't ask me those standard 1st date questions, thankfully! We talked, and flirted, and bantered, and joked, and...the waiter came by to kick us out. There was a wait for our table.

"Well," I told him, "I was just going to walk around the lake..."

And so he joined. He wowed me with his stories of salsa dancing in Cuba, mesmerized me with tales of ballooning across beautiful landscapes. Who does those things?! Certainly no one I had dated up to that point! I was even shocked to find out that he had done a dating challenge of his own!

He began glancing at his watch, not-so-covertly. He had somewhere to be. "Another date to get to?" I wondered.* We said our goodbyes. He enthusiastically remarked that he had a lot of fun and would like to meet again later in the week. I casually agreed.

We parted ways. And once he was out of earshot, I immediately called my best friend. And maybe my sister. Maybe someone else too. Uh oh. Finally, a first date I had enjoyed!! I told them all about it! They all remarked that it was the first time that I had actually sounded excited about someone. They were right.

I nonchalantly gossiped for the duration of the stroll. Around the final curve, I glanced behind me and some woman smiled, obviously eavesdropping. I began getting a little paranoid...did she know this unique guy who I couldn't stop talking about?! If he ended up hearing about my excitement, it might ruin my game! So much for keeping it casual! I hung up the phone and decided to get Mr. 99% out of my head for a while. It was time to wait. He wouldn't have expressed his excitement if he didn't mean it, right?!

*Note: Indeed, I found out later that he was heading to another date. In all, he had 3 that day. Sounds oddly familiar...like something I may have done before...

One last try...

So, I finished the blog. And I was still single. I thought about writing off dating altogether. But then life got boring….so that didn't last too long. I met guys here and there; all were nice enough. Fun to pass time with—museum visits, coffee, dinner dates—but nothing phenomenal. I was about to give up when I decided to try one last trick. On OkCupid, I searched for my “highest match.” When someone came up as 99%, I figured I might as well see what he was all about.

“Goodcab” was his code name. Cute pictures, an interesting profile (dances, owns a hot air balloon, travels, cooks), recently moved to Seattle, unique dealbreakers (girls over 5’5’’, not taking antidepressants)…

And so I wrote:

“Welcome to Seattle. You're still quite a newbie! I came across your profile when searching for people with whom I have a high "match percentage" and didn't know it was even possible to get 99%! Anyhow, you seem like an interesting guy and it sounds like we've been to similar parts of the world. Where in S. America? Cuba's on my bucket list.

The bad news? I'm only 5'4''...but did ok on the dance floor at salsa night yesterday. The plus side, though, is that I'm not on anti-depressants (and never have been). I tend to prescribe them a lot though. ”

A few days later, he responded:

“Wow 99 percent. I am always surprised when it says I am 42 percent enemy with people. :-). You seem awesome as well and would love to meet you. I like meeting people in person as well. What's your schedule this weekend? Feel free to give me a call. 555-555-1212.”

Mmmm…I like that! I’d gotten sick of exchanging endless emails and so, we set up a breakfast date for that weekend.

Trivia and Tics

I got a message from a guy I’d been emailing with, asking if I’d like to grab a bite to eat at Belltown Pizza. I had eaten there once before (on another date, if I remember correctly) and their slices were somewhat reminiscent of New York Pizza (which I was raised on). So, I agreed, happily.

When I arrived, he was already sitting at the bar, waiting for me. As soon as introductions were done, he informed me that it was trivia night! As someone who loves learning random facts, I’m often on the winning trivia team. This was an exciting change in the normal dinner routine!

We decided to split a pizza and join forces in the intellectual challenge. He seemed to know everyone in the bar, so free drinks were flowing throughout the evening. The first question was posed:

What color does acid turn Litmus paper?

Too easy! Bring on something a bit more challenging!

We stated “red” and, obviously, won the round. I looked at my date, his hands started flailing, and he opened his mouth:

"Hell yea, own it, ooowwwwnnnn it, own it! Hell yea, own it! Own it! Yea, yea, yea!"

Well, that was a bit more excitement than I was expecting for the first question! Oh well, I guess optimism and happiness are good traits.

Soon after, question two was announced:

What is a freshwater lobster called?

As a foodie, the question was also not a problem: Crayfish

Our answer was pronounced correct and my date began exploding with enthusaiasm once again:

“See that!?! Own it, ooowwwnnnn it, own it! That’s right, own it! Own it!”

Uh…ok…

And it continued…and continued…and continued throughout the evening.

We did, indeed, win the trivia competition. By the end, however, I didn’t have much enthusiasm left in me! His tourette-like outburts were draining! Certainly not something I could deal with on a long-term basis!

No, nope, nada, no way, nah, nope, no, no!

Keeping your eyes on the prize

One question I am consistently asked on this dating quest: have you and Looking for a Spark [LFAS] ever dated the same guy? The answer is no…but we’ve certainly talked about it! There is one guy, in particular, who makes me think of this potential situation: the optometrist.

Let’s take it back—

Almost year ago, he invited me to an amazing dinner at a scrumptious restaurant (Ray’s Boathouse). He was good company (despite having told me that something was "off" about my eyes), and we were thinking of going somewhere else afterwards. But messages crossed and it didn’t work out.

Date number two: we met at an Asian place (Indochine) somewhere midway between our respective residences. The food was alright, and, being in a period of transition with his job, he talked much more about his daily stressors than I felt comfortable hearing on the second date! I had had a rough week as well, but I just listened and listened. He never once asked me how things were going (though, truth be told, I don’t know how much I would have divulged on the 2nd date, anyway).

A couple weeks later, it was my birthday, and he insisted on cooking me dinner. Driving all the way out to where he lived, however, quickly convinced me that something long-term would not work out…especially while I was in school! Had we connected more, I might have been willing to take on that sacrifice of distance. At the end of the night, however, I realized that it would be our final date.

And fast-forward—

At the end of each academic quarter, my amazing nursing cohort unites for a celebration of accomplishments and (fleeting) freedom. The last one was at a classmate’s family’s gorgeous lake house. The party was phenomenal, complete with paddleboarding, chocolate fountains, and amazing company. Of course, before long, pictures erupted on facebook, highlighting the good times enjoyed by all.

As there were uncountable pictures of cute girls in bikinis, I have no doubt that they got a lot of facebook traffic. It so happens, however, that the optometrist is still one of my facebook friends. And, so, after not having heard from him in about half a year, I received a facebook message:

Hi,
So, I know things didn’t work out with us, but how about that girl, [LFAS], who I saw pictures of on facebook. Is she single? She’s really cute and it’d be great if you could work something out!
Thanks!

Uh…first of all, no, she wasn’t single. And second of all, is that even allowed?! Can you really ask someone you dated, to hook you up with their friend?? Granted, we never kissed or anything…but still!

While it’s the principle of the matter that bothers me, the truth is that I wouldn’t really mind playing matchmaker for a friend, if I found a guy I thought would be better for her than for me. So, if any single lady-readers decide they have their eyes open for potential dates, I might have an optometrist right up your alley!

Mixin' it up a bit

Since I'm quickly approaching the end of the "100 dates" with no exciting prospect in sight, I decided to be a bit more open-minded about potential matches. And so, when I was contacted by someone who was not really my type AT ALL, I figured, "Why not? What do I have to lose?!"

From his pictures, he looked like he could possibly be attractive (they were taken from a distance--1st warning sign, perhaps). We chatted online for a bit and he suggested meeting for a drink. I offered a counter suggestion of ice cream at Molly Moon's (YUM!!), and he agreed enthusiastically! Just as we were signing off, he threw in one last random comment: "I hope we can talk about our travels. It'd be great if we could get together and travel the world!" (Hmm...haven't even met you yet, dude! Warning sign #2, perhaps?!)

I got to the shop and he was waiting outside (long frizzy hair, pot belly, short stature...the pictures were certainly more flattering). But, I didn't have any other plans for the night...and I was keeping an open mind, right?!

As we stood in the VERY long line, he mentioned that he wasn't going to get ice cream, after all. His mom was in town from India and had cooked a huge meal. Maybe I'd like to come over for dinner sometime soon? (Uhhh...offer to meet the parents so early in the game?! Warning sign #3!)

We approached the counter and I went with his recommendation (balsamic strawberry) in the junior size. He got out his wallet, despite my offers to pay; it was only $2.50. "No," he insisted, as he ostentatiously waved around a $100 bill. Mr. Franklin was certainly not necessary for the menial tab! (Warning sign #4?)

Open mind, open mind, open mind...

We brought our (aka "my") ice cream outside to walk around Cal Anderson Park, and I have to admit, between the dodge ball and BMX jockey tournaments, the people watching was fun! He wanted to keep walking, though. So we talked. And, he was somewhat interesting (well, when he wasn't telling me about test driving a Ferrari or about the BMW he owns...I'm not very materialistic). But, then he went to length, again, about how we should get married and travel together. Has he not gotten the memo that this is NOT appropriate first date discourse?!

At one point on the walk, he mentioned that I intimidate him and he feels like he has to be on his best behavior around me. Then, mid-conversation, he busted out in song:

"Hug me, hug me...get closer and hug me..."

Hmm, I had never heard of that one! If he was hoping his made up lyrics were going to have some sort of subliminal impact, he was quite wrong! All I wanted to do was wrap my arms tighter around myself and take a few steps away. Yikes!

At this point, almost an hour had passed. I decided to inform my Romeo that I was sleepy and had a lot of homework still to do. Straight to the car please!

I bid him good night and he did the same, turning on his heels. BUT WAIT! He decided he wasn't finished and walked back towards me!

"You know, you make me feel so self-conscious...like I can't be myself around you! So, I'm going to be myself."

And he came in for the kill! I diverted his target and he kissed my forehead goodnight. Whew...that was a close one!

I jumped in my car and sped off. I think I'll be sticking with "my type" from now on!

Is it a date?! (Part 2)

We went to the bar and ordered drinks. His treat, he insisted. (date clue #1)

As we settled into the sunlit patio at Twilight Exit, we talked about everything from worldly travels to favorite activities around Seattle. At one point, we remembered that the premise of the meeting was to talk about school and to give professional advice. But, once initiated, our conversation quickly drifted away from that topic. (date clue #2)

As we finished our drinks, he asked what else I was doing that afternoon/evening. I know The Rules says a girl should act unavailable, always claiming to have pressing plans and being the first to end the date. But, to hell with the rules, I was having fun! So I told him it was my day to relax, I had nothing else planned.

He asked if I wanted another drink, but I'm not a huge drinker and already felt a little tipsy. I said I only wanted water. And then he remembered I had recently tried paddle boarding. He had access to some boards...Would I like to go? Heck yea! (date clue #3)

Yea, I decided, this is definitely a date.

So, at 7pm, we found ourselves chatting and giggling across the water between our paddle boards, with the sun setting on the west, dusky purple mountains on the east, and brilliant Mt. Rainier to the south. It was breathtaking!

After returning the boards, we decided to stay for drinks. There was a fancy event going on, and we didn't really fit in, dressed in our jeans and t-shirts. Regardless, we found a secluded balcony and played cards while listening to a live band below us.

He remembered he was hungry and invited me to dinner. We choose Palermo, an Italian restaurant on Capitol Hill, and we split a couple tasty (albeit very salty) dishes. He drove me home, emphasizing that he'd like to get together again soon.

I agreed, happily :)

Is it a date?! (Part 1)

A few weeks ago, I volunteered at a medical station for the Seattle's Rock & Roll Marathon. Of course, as a dating aficionado, I always have my eyes open for potential matches. And, at that particular event, someone caught my eye.

We talked a little about our educational backgrounds and about what other volunteer activities we are involved in. I told him a bit about the homeless clinic that some of my amazing classmates and I run, and he was intrigued. He wrote his email address on a band-aid and asked me to send him more details.

So, I did. We exchanged a few emails back and forth, mainly about the clinic. But he also said, "If you ever have questions about school or anything at all, feel free to email or call me." Hmm... I've seen He's Just Not that Into You, and I'm not one to over-analyze a situation. But, I figured there might be potential, nonetheless. So, I said it'd be great to pick his brain sometime, and asked if he'd prefer to communicate over email or meet up.

His answer? "Let's meet up"

We both have very busy schedules, so coordinating was a bit of a challenge. Finally, he suggested Twilight Exit for a drink. (FYI, when I mentioned this locale to Looking for a spark, she was less than impressed. But, it was a surprisingly fun atmosphere.)

I got to the door of the bar as he was running out. He asked if I'd mind if he made a quick phone call. He wanted to cancel later plans with someone else, as he had a busy weekend ahead of him. I asked if he really wanted to keep our plans and he said, "Yea, with this, at least I can justify that it's related to school."

That left me continuing to wonder--was this only an informational interview of sorts? Or an actual date?!

Matchmaker Part 3

As planned, we met at the Essential Bakery on a rainy Sunday afternoon. This was probably the "blindest" date I had been on! I heard a little about him from my aunt, who knew his grandparents. But the details were vague (and slightly inaccurate). Of course, I also did some facebook and google research.

As far as I know, he had very limited information on me. Probably even less than I had!

So, I called as I was arriving, and he gave me specific information about where he was sitting in the restaurant. We ordered some lunch and started to chat. As the conversation advanced, I think we both got the sense that we didn't necessarily mesh romantically. I'm not sure if he even realized that it was supposed to be a date--it seemed very platonic.

Final conclusion--we're both very busy with school. I assured him that, if he wanted to do something fun around the Seattle area, I'd be happy to accompany him or give him good ideas. But I felt more like we were cousins than potential sweethearts.

I called my aunt. She was disappointed. But, you can't force love, right?!

Prince Charming (aka Scrub Guy) Part II

As would be assumed, we decided to meet up. We chose ¡Cactus!, a yummy Mexican restaurant in my neighborhood.

This "Prince Charming" was, indeed, attractive, motivated, humorous, kind, well-traveled....he had all the right attributes! We were so engaged in conversation that the waitress had to come to our table four or five times before we even got around to looking at the menu.

The conversation, however, was the problem. I felt like I was in a theatrical production, reciting the script that I had repeated so many times before! Each time Scrub Guy opened his mouth, I knew exactly what he was going to ask:

"How many brothers and sisters do you have?...Are you the oldest or the youngest?"

"Where are you from?...And what brought you to Seattle?"

"What do you like to do for fun around here?"

These were all great questions for a first date...which it was! But, as it was approximately my 25th "first date," I was ready to pull my hair out by the end of the night! (I didn't show it, of course, because he deserved my full, undivided attention)

He is truly a great guy. We agreed to be in touch. As promised, he sent me a post-date email, saying he'd like to meet up again, and that it might be fun to do something outdoors. I responded, agreeing and telling him to stay in touch about future plans. I haven't heard back from him since. And I haven't written to him either.

Maybe I will...one day.... I think I need to stop going on first dates!

"5000 miles from being a Seattle guy"

I hadn't been on plenty of fish for a while because I was (am) getting a bit bored of Seattle guys (no offense). When I did finally log in next, I changed my profile to make this known. The 1st message I received after the change was titled "5000 miles from being a Seattle guy." Hmm, interesting...

I opened the email and found a message from an English guy who is working in Seattle. After writing back and forth a few times, we decided to meet for dinner. He volunteered to choose our restaurant, but not being from Seattle, he couldn't actually find the one he had picked. Oops! So, we met at the Pike's Place Market and walked around, finally deciding on Il Bistro.

As he promised, he was 5000 miles from being a Seattle guy, and this proved to be refreshing in many ways!

1. He has an adorable accent (what is it about accents that are so sexy?!)
2. He uses different vocabulary (lovely, brilliant, rubbish, etc)
3. He has seen the world (well, I guess I usually have that in common with everyone I date)
4. We were more spontaneous in choosing what to do (since he didn't really know what was around)
5. Most importantly, we were able to avoid the dreaded 1st date small talk (perhaps first date conversations are different in the UK)! I have no idea where he went to school or how many brothers and sisters he has...and I'm thrilled about it! At almost every first date, I am able to predict the next words that will come out of my date's mouth...and it is a bit dull. But that wasn't the case on this date!

We continued the date with post-dinner drinks at Del Ray. At the end of the 5-hour date, I decided that I had a really good time! Afterwards, he sent me a cute post-date text....we'll go out again, for sure!

Belltown Poetry

Early in the night, my date mentioned that he always liked to support street musicians and performers. As we walked down the street in Belltown, searching for a restaurant, he was dropping bills into tattered hats and guitar cases. And then we were approached by a young, African American guy.

"I'm an artist and would love to recite my poetry for you...I'll only take two minutes of your time!"

Of course, my date humored him.

"Go ahead"

The poet warned us that this wasn't any old Shakespeare work, but that it required our participation. We accepted the challenge.

"So, you guys are in love, huh?" (No, we shook our heads.) "First date, then?" (Yes, we nodded.) "Ok, I need you guys to look into each others' eyes...keep looking, don't break the connection"

(AWKWARD! But we kept going with it)

"Love--love is blossoming. Love is a beautiful thing. Love...warms the heart and the soul. Love on a Saturday night. Two souls, beautifully intertwined, growing closer each minute as they stare in each other's eyes......"

Hmmm...maybe this wasn't such a wise activity for a first date... Soon enough, though, it was nearing the end. But there was a grand finale:

"...and now, you must kiss! Go on, kiss so the world can witness the beauty of your love!"

(Dude, this is a first date, remember?!)

My date looked at me awkwardly, and I, at him. Very gentlemanly, he kissed me on the cheek. At the poet's urging, I did the same. A dollar was handed over, and we continued on our way. We found a restaurant, ate, and parted ways.

Our love did not blossom.