Prince Charming (aka Scrub Guy) Part II

As would be assumed, we decided to meet up. We chose ¡Cactus!, a yummy Mexican restaurant in my neighborhood.

This "Prince Charming" was, indeed, attractive, motivated, humorous, kind, well-traveled....he had all the right attributes! We were so engaged in conversation that the waitress had to come to our table four or five times before we even got around to looking at the menu.

The conversation, however, was the problem. I felt like I was in a theatrical production, reciting the script that I had repeated so many times before! Each time Scrub Guy opened his mouth, I knew exactly what he was going to ask:

"How many brothers and sisters do you have?...Are you the oldest or the youngest?"

"Where are you from?...And what brought you to Seattle?"

"What do you like to do for fun around here?"

These were all great questions for a first date...which it was! But, as it was approximately my 25th "first date," I was ready to pull my hair out by the end of the night! (I didn't show it, of course, because he deserved my full, undivided attention)

He is truly a great guy. We agreed to be in touch. As promised, he sent me a post-date email, saying he'd like to meet up again, and that it might be fun to do something outdoors. I responded, agreeing and telling him to stay in touch about future plans. I haven't heard back from him since. And I haven't written to him either.

Maybe I will...one day.... I think I need to stop going on first dates!

"5000 miles from being a Seattle guy"

I hadn't been on plenty of fish for a while because I was (am) getting a bit bored of Seattle guys (no offense). When I did finally log in next, I changed my profile to make this known. The 1st message I received after the change was titled "5000 miles from being a Seattle guy." Hmm, interesting...

I opened the email and found a message from an English guy who is working in Seattle. After writing back and forth a few times, we decided to meet for dinner. He volunteered to choose our restaurant, but not being from Seattle, he couldn't actually find the one he had picked. Oops! So, we met at the Pike's Place Market and walked around, finally deciding on Il Bistro.

As he promised, he was 5000 miles from being a Seattle guy, and this proved to be refreshing in many ways!

1. He has an adorable accent (what is it about accents that are so sexy?!)
2. He uses different vocabulary (lovely, brilliant, rubbish, etc)
3. He has seen the world (well, I guess I usually have that in common with everyone I date)
4. We were more spontaneous in choosing what to do (since he didn't really know what was around)
5. Most importantly, we were able to avoid the dreaded 1st date small talk (perhaps first date conversations are different in the UK)! I have no idea where he went to school or how many brothers and sisters he has...and I'm thrilled about it! At almost every first date, I am able to predict the next words that will come out of my date's mouth...and it is a bit dull. But that wasn't the case on this date!

We continued the date with post-dinner drinks at Del Ray. At the end of the 5-hour date, I decided that I had a really good time! Afterwards, he sent me a cute post-date text....we'll go out again, for sure!

The power of the ex

As I sat in class, I kept an eye on the slowly ticking clock. I had a date to get to! Even though I wasn’t necessarily impressed after the first date with the guy, I figured a second chance might change my perspective. While class dragged on, I decided to navigate the internet...facebook, more specifically*. When I opened the page, I saw the usual, unimportant details on the newsfeed. Then, scrolling down, some pictures caught my eye. Upon further stalking, I found out that they were of my ex-boyfriend, on a hiking/camping trip with an unidentified, cute girl. Hmmm.

{Let me interject and give a little background on my past relationship. We dated in high school, and reunited early this year. But, he lived on the east coast...and I’m on the west coast. I quickly realized that I couldn’t do the long distance thing, especially when we had spent so little face time together over the previous 8 years! I was in a relationship with this amazing, attractive, sweet, funny guy...and I couldn’t do it! He was ready to make a big commitment, but it just didn’t feel right to me. And so, I broke it off.}

Back to the story... there I was, pre-date, looking at adorable pictures of him and, presumably, a new girlfriend. And my heart started to pound, my breathing sped up. Why did it affect me so much! A few deep breaths, I figured...that’d take care of the problem.

But, at the restaurant (Pasta Bella), I couldn’t concentrate on my date. Words were pouring out of his mouth, and I’d nod from time to time. But, really, I was thinking about my ex: Who was that cute girl? How long have they been together? Are they good together? What does the future hold for them? My poor date—fortunately he’s not a mind-reader! He didn’t even seem to notice my absentmindedness.

So, what’s wrong with me? I broke up with my ex! I wish him well, and I’m totally happy for him! But I can’t help but wonder, “what if we really were meant to be?”

*Note: I’m not really a slacker…but some of the classes this quarter have been less than exciting!

The vagina dialogues

both agreed that talking about ex’s was a bad idea...yet the topic kept resurfacing. In talking about dates he had been on, he mentioned going out with someone who disclosed that she had “pelvic cancer or something girly like that.” I explained that both women and men have pelvises, and perhaps, more specifically, it was cervical cancer. “That’s what it was,” he exclaimed...followed by, “wait, what’s the cervix?” I was about to start explaining (this is my profession, after all), when I realized where I was: on a first date at a bar! Not quite the circumstances for a lesson on female anatomy. Regardless, he was adamant about learning more. And so, I found myself shouting about the vagina and cervix, so as to be heard over rowdy dart competitions and conversations on the qualities of

Hefeweizen

. Oh goodness!I arrived early to the dinner spot he picked and found that, not only was there a “closed” sign on the door, but there weren’t any tables or chairs in the restaurant. It was abandoned! I called my date and we decided that I’d follow him to another location. When he arrived, he came at me with open arms, while I simultaneously jutted out my arm for a simple handshake. Catching on to each others’ cues, we quickly changed roles. It was like a competitive game of rock-papers-scissors. Awkward!

While waiting, I had noticed a sign saying that the restaurant, Shun, had moved to 45th. We began our mini-caravan to find the relocated place, and since this was his neighborhood and he had a GPS, I figured we’d be set. After he went through several very yellow lights (leaving me waiting at the intersection), I noticed we were at 57th—getting close. The next sign I saw, however was 60th. We were going the wrong way! We turned around, and the restaurant ended up being 1 block away from where we had started!

After a nice dinner, we decided on drinks at another location. Again, I followed. We passed lots of little bars and restaurants…but then we turned onto some residential streets. I began thinking, “Uh…when I agreed to drinks, I wasn’t agreeing to go to your house!” When we got to a "Dead End" sign, he called me. Lost again! And we were heading to a bar that he frequents often!

When finally settled at the bar, Die Bierstube, we both agreed that talking about ex’s was a bad idea...yet the topic kept resurfacing. In talking about dates he had been on, he mentioned going out with someone who disclosed that she had “pelvic cancer or something girly like that.” I explained that both women and men have pelvises, and perhaps, more specifically, it was cervical cancer. “That’s what it was,” he exclaimed...followed by, “wait, what’s the cervix?” I was about to start explaining (this is my profession, after all), when I realized where I was: on a first date at a bar! Not quite the circumstances for a lesson on female anatomy. Regardless, he was adamant about learning more. And so, I found myself shouting about the vagina and cervix, so as to be heard over rowdy dart competitions and conversations on the qualities of Hefeweizen. Oh goodness!

Despite all this (or perhaps because of it), the date was fun. I think we’ll go out again.

Dates 7, 8, and 9: The good...the bad...and the uneventful

Somehow, on Thursday, I managed to get asked out on 3 dates for the weekend (plus one on Monday)! So, it provided the perfect opportunity for comparisons—and there were plenty to be made! I’ll work backwards, to end on a “good” note.

The Uneventful:
He chose the Seattle Art Museum, a unique date spot, which is always more intriguing (even though I had been there before). We had an engaging conversation, though I guess that’s to be expected on any 2nd date. Stories about past adventures were exchanged. It was fine…something to do in good company. Unfortunately, there isn’t much more to say. On one hand, there were no sparks (at least none felt by me); on the other, it was an enjoyable afternoon. And that was that.

The Bad:
We met for dinner (traditional) at Tango. I was starving and a bit sleepy, after a long day of work and volunteering. He began chatting about how he came to live in Seattle (while I was eyeing the menu, hoping to get some food in my belly as quickly as possible). We finally ordered and he was talking about his high school years...then his family...his ex-girlfriends...then the apartments he lived in...his neighbors...his past jobs...recent interviews...step siblings...his car...more about his ex-girlfriend...and his family...a little about his friends...and his current job...some more about other places he lived…other jobs he was applying to...his college years...sports he played...I think you get the idea! A lot of talking…about HIM! I felt that I could write a book about him by the end of the night…though I don’t know that it would be a bestseller. All I wanted to do was crawl into bed with ear plugs (my bed, alone). Finally we parted ways. On the positive side, he was a gentleman and attactive. But there were several more negative aspects: egocentrism (though perhaps it was a side effect of nervousness), age (he's a few years older than me), he's not a food sharer (a big deal for me), and he sent me a somewhat creepy text* that night. I don't foresee a second date.

The Good:
This date proved to be fun...really enjoyable, actually! It was the first time (during this project...and in a while, come to think of it) that I’ve gone out with someone and felt that there was a connection from both sides. At least, I hope it was felt by all parties involved (I usually have good perception about that kind of thing)!

We met somewhere completely new to me (Majles--a hookah/tea bar), which was an interesting change from the dinner routine (not that I’m complaining!). Then we continued the night in various other spots around the city: Bathtub Gin & Co. (a modern speakeasy-like bar), Shortys (an arcade/bar where we played pinball and skeeball), and finally had a post-midnight snack at IHOP. We laughed together, chatted about diverse topics, and flirted...all fun! We linked arms when we walked around…a nice way to stay warm (and get a little closer).

Then came the hour of departure...and the awkward moment of saying goodbye. I’m not one to kiss on the first date...but I really wanted to! And I felt that he did too! I managed to restrain myself, however. I now find myself hoping that he’ll contact me soon...a pretty exciting change! We’ll see what happens :)


**Bad date text message transcript:
Him: “Im not good at dating...im a better lover...once you get comfortable with me I’m pretty awesome :)”
Me: “Uh...I’m not really looking for a lover. Sorry”
Him: “That didn’t come out right...”

Date 6: The inevitable bill

It started with drinks at Contour...his treat, he insisted. After all, we had good conversation, some laughs--a little awkward but overall a good time. The waitress came by to inform us that happy hour was ending. Awkward...what happens next?!

Him: "I'm hungry, think I'm gonna get some dinner."
Me: "Oh yea? Where?"
Him: "Not sure, I was going to look around. Want to join?"
Me: "Sure"

So, we decided on Maharaja, a yummy Indian restaurant, and continued talking about travel, family, and other getting-to-know-you themes. After several hours of coquettish interaction, the waiters began to hover--they were closing. Eager to part with the bill they threw it on the table in front of me. We chatted a little more, both glancing at it from time to time, no one making a move. So, I put down my half....he put down a credit card. And we exited, walked down the street, and parted ways as I got close to my car. We said goodnight, agreed that we'd be in touch if anything interesting came up. And that was that. No communication since.

I'm not saying that I fell for this guy. We had interesting conversation, though I wasn't particularly romantically enthralled. But I thought he was somewhat interested...at least for a 2nd date!

Does a bill split suggest a lack of interest on my part? I figured I was just being polite. After I paid it, however, the entire ambiance changed--he became more distant and aloof. My sister said guys don't really think about these details....but I'm not convinced...

**Update--here's an interesting article I found about the bill situation from the guy's point of view. Kinda handy!